Every single person on this planet has two things in common; we were all born, and we’re all going to die. Preparing for a new baby is full of excitement and anticipation. End-of life planning? Not so much. I can’t promise to make the process fun, but I can at least recommend some apps, websites, and books to make things a little more streamlined, and a bit less daunting.
Designate a Legacy Contact for Your Apple Devices
So much of our lives, from photos to files, are stored on our Apple devices. An easy way to make sure your loved ones can access this data after you pass is to designate one or more Legacy Contacts. Choose someone you trust to oversee your digital life. I also recommend talking with them about your wishes—everything from your photo collection to online journal entries.
It’s easy to set up a Legacy Contact. On iPhone, go to Settings, tap your name, tap Sign-In & Security, then tap Legacy Contact. Once you’ve chosen a contact, it’s a good idea to reach out to them to let them know. If they have a recent Apple device, you’ll have the option to notify them via iMessage. You can also tap View Access Key to get a QR Code and a long password to share with them, either by printing and handing it to them or sending it digitally. Remember the Access Key is very important to safeguard—it’s how your legacy contact accesses your accounts.
Start the Conversation
I’ve reached the age of 43 without writing a will or leaving any clue about how I’d like to be memorialized when my time comes. I don’t fear death, and yet I have put off doing the responsible thing and making a will. I turned to the Death Conversation Game ($9.99) to figure out why. This app is meant to spark conversations between loved ones about mortality, death, dying, and grief. You can go through the questions alone, if you prefer, it’s just as effective!
The Death Conversation Game was revelatory for me. I discovered that I’ve put off end-of-life planning because I don’t like to think of a time when I won’t be there for my kids.
This made me realize that the final way I can help my family is to make my dying as smooth and painless as possible. By making a will. Duh.
Make a Plan
Are you ready to make a will, too? There are lots of online options to choose from that don’t require a lawyer, but if you have significant assets or anticipate a conflict between your heirs, it’s well worth the money to hire one.
My worldly goods include one dusty Prius, one elderly farmhouse, an enviable fabric hoard, and a rather nice Fiesta ware collection. Important to me, but hardly the makings of a contentious probate dispute. So, I decided to use LegalZoom, an American company that offers free legal information.
LegalZoom’s Basic Last Will is state-specific, and rings in at $199 for a couple and $99 for an individual, including free revisions for 30 days. There are two other, more expensive options that offer more legal advice, a living will, and a designated financial power of attorney. I went with the simplest plan but may upgrade if the need arises.
If you’re looking for more planning resources, I’d recommend Cake. It’s a funny name for an end-of-life platform, but founders wanted to make planning for death a “piece of cake” with this free resource. There are sections for grief and loss, aging parents, health decisions, and aspects of will and estate planning you may not have considered. You can even download a free end-of-life plan in an easy-to-follow checklist format.
High-Tech Burial & Memorial Options
Once you’ve gone over the financial and medical aspects of your preparations, you may want to put some thought into your final resting place. Some people are content with a traditional burial or cremation, but living in the 21st century means we have new options, including QR-coded memorials! These additions are a meaningful, long-lasting, and inexpensive add-on to funeral costs.
Turning Hearts has been in business for four years and allows you or your family members to create a medallion (from $99.99) that links to a profile with a bio, photos, videos, documents, and tributes shared by others. Each order includes two QR-coded medallions that can be placed on headstones, urns, and other hard surfaces. This means that you can create and add medallions for people who have already passed and even create ancestor accounts to keep family memories and stories alive for generations to come.
Choosing Your Burial Method
The final part of my end-of-life plan was to choose a burial method and place. I’ve never liked the idea of embalming, cremation, and burial. So, I looked for a green burial method and found Life Forest (from $1,250). This option combines natural burial practices with modern technology for a peaceful, sustainable burial option. Purchase a plot, and you or your loved one’s cremated or composted remains are interred in a beautiful forest in Maine or New Hampshire. There aren’t any gravestones, just a tree of your choice planted atop the remains and cared for by Life Forest staff, and a QR-code marker linked to a webpage. You can also enter provided GPS coordinates into the Find a Grave (free) database, so visitors can easily navigate to the site.
Finally, multiple ash and compost burials of people and pets are allowed under the same tree for no extra fee, making this an affordable final resting place for loved ones to return to the earth together.
Tackling this subject has addressed an ongoing level of anxiety that I was hardly aware existed, since I had crammed the topic so far down into my subconscious. Please write in and let me know about any resources I’ve missed, so I can look into them, as well!
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
One more important thing to consider in your end-of-life plan, especially if you're a maximalist like me, is what will happen to all your stuff. When my mom passed, we had the daunting task of sorting through a house packed with possessions going back decades. I don't want to put my kids through that heartbreaking process, so l listened to The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning on Libby, a free library app. While author Margareta Magnusson didn't convert me to minimalism with any more success than Marie Kondo, her message has sunk in a bit. Next, I plan to pick up a copy of the Swedish Death Cleaning Workbook. I'm not promising to pare down even more, but the promise of a 30-day challenge to organize and declutter my house does spark joy, even if I only accomplish a tenth of what the author intended me to do.
Top image credit: bbernard / Shutterstock.com
